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What
did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!
Why were the early American settlers like ants?
Because they lived in colonies.
What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
John Hamcock!
What did George Washington say to his army at Valley Forge?
"Sorry, men. The flights to Florida are all booked up!"
What would you get if you crossed the American national bird
with Snoopy?
A bald beagle!
What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with
a teepee?
A powdered wigwam!
What's red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic pickle!
What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
"Keep in torch!"
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Bill
Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If
automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology
over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you
would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it
would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or,
you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and
gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case,
the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you
really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?" |
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SURGEONS
ARE TAKING A COFFEE BREAK.........
1st surgeon says: "Accountants are the best to operate
on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says: "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything
inside them is in alphabetical order.
3rd responds: "Try electricians, man! Everything inside
them is colour coded."
4th intercedes: "I prefer lawyers. They're heartless,
spineless, gutless and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
To which the 5th surgeon, who has been quietly listening to
the conversation, says: "I like engineers... they always
understand when you have a few parts left over at the end." |
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The
Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school
teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about
patriotism. "We live in a great country," she
said. "One of the things we should be happy is that,
in this country, we are all free." One little boy
came walking up to her from the back of the room. He
stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .
"I'm not free. I'm four." |
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